Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

Lately, I have been witness to so much unnecessary meanness through bullying.  There have been children who have been treated with incredible cruelty by others, people online treated with disrespect by others hiding behind screens…  I could go on and on.  We all know it’s out there.  I mean, it’s been going on forever.  Right?  We’re not naïve.  Unless you have your head in the sand, you have seen or heard of it and it only seems to be getting worse.

Why are we treating others so terribly?  Is it the need to fit in with other people?  Is it unhappiness within?  Or is it just that some people are wired to be cruel to others?

I am not a saint.  Please, don’t get me wrong!  I have been mean.  There are times when I have been downright nasty.  I regret those actions, but I was able to mature and develop into a different type of person.  One who believes in the power of kindness and spreading positivity…

Why did I change how I behaved? I knew what it was like to be treated with malice.  I felt the heartache and seemingly unending tears when someone would say something so incredibly cutting to me that it was as if they had sliced off a piece of me.  I have been overweight, and reminded, not so kindly, that I was.  I have been mocked for loving all the “girly” things I do:  makeup, haircare, shopping, etc.  I have been made fun of for wearing too much makeup.  I have had nasty rumors spread about me.  Complete untruths which made it back to me through multiple people.  I have even had so-called “friends” attempt to try to engage in gossip about ME with family members.  So, I know it’s painful.  Therefore, my mistreatment of others had to end.

How did I change?  I became more spiritual and started thinking more positively.  I made a vow to myself to always find something nice to say to people.  No, I am not Mary Poppins.  (And yes, I think someone recently referred to me as an “empty headed Mary Poppins knock-off”…)  I am not running around complimenting random strangers, but if I notice something nice about someone, I make it a point of telling them.  It isn’t hurting me or even taking any real effort to say, “Your nails or pretty.”  Or something of the like…

I would like to see more people TRY to spread some kindness.  You never know when a little bit of kindness is going to make a world of difference to someone.  It could make their day.  It could make the difference in their life.  You just never know.

Isn’t this all just really common sense?  Treat others well.  Think before you speak and act.  Common sense.

I want to leave you with this.  It is something I wrote when I was struggling and I was faced with a lot of negativity from those who were supposed to support me…

“I have worked too hard for this very tenuous grasp on happiness…  Darkness waits at every turn to encompass my light.  I cannot…  I will not…  Be drawn into that slumber.  The one which threatens to destroy my destiny of greatness.  My candles are flaming.  I replace each one as it burns out.  Do not be the breath of negativity trying to extinguish my fire.”

Thank you for reading.  Spread kindness.  Stay positive.

 

Heart Disease Awareness

Last night, I was granted the amazing opportunity to be interviewed by Traci S. Campbell for her podcast.  I was able to tell my story of surviving heart disease for the “Beauty is ALL Heart” initiative she began three years ago due to her role as a caregiver to a relative with heart challenges.  I was honored and humbled to be able to participate in this interview…

February 3, 2018 marked my four year anniversary of surviving a heart attack.  I am truly blessed to be able to still be here to see the beauty each new day brings.  If I learned one thing, it is not to take one single moment for granted.  Take note of all the little things and be happy for each and every moment you get to spend on this Earth.

In 2014, the morning after the Superbowl, I was not feeling well.  Leading up to this day, I had been experiencing some fatigue and angina, but I was only 38-years-old.  I didn’t take it seriously.  I thought I was overly stressed and suffering from indigestion.  I was WRONG!

I was on the phone with my cousin, and I had some neck and jaw pain.  It began radiating down my left arm.  I remember telling her I would just lie down until I felt better, but she insisted I call someone.  I called my husband.  It never occurred to me to call 911.  We rushed to the nearest hospital, which didn’t have a cardiac unit, but they were able to stabilize me.  We live in a rural area, so I had to be transported to another hospital via ambulance for further care…  And let me tell you!  That’s NOT fun.  I gotta give it to paramedics.  If you can work in an ambulance, you’re talented, because riding in one is no joke!

But I digress…

I made it to the larger hospital, where I was taken to surgery as soon as possible.  See, I was having a serious heart attack.   When I say serious, I mean, my proximal LAD was blocked.  Ninety-eight percent blocked.  The proximal LAD is what is known as the “Widowmaker,”  I was dying, people.  I didn’t have a clue anything was leading up to this!

Now, why didn’t I have a clue?  I had heart disease in my family.  I should have known to get the check ups I needed.  I smoked.  I should have known I needed to quit.  I didn’t fuel my body properly.  I should have put that cheeseburger down.  Am I right?  Yeah, I am…  BUT we don’t always think about those things when we are younger.  We think, “That won’t happen to me!”

BUT IT CAN!!!  It did!  It happened to me.  I was a football Mom.  I stayed at home at the time to be with my son.  I helped my husband run his business.  I didn’t take my health seriously…

Now, after my heart attack, I fell into a deep depression, which I have since learned can be common.  THEN, to make things even worse, just a few short months later, I lost a very close relative who had struggled with heart challenges all her life.  I fell into darkness for a time.  I didn’t think I would find my way back to into the light, but I did!

It didn’t happen over night.  It has been a struggle.  I have had to learn new ways of fueling my body.  I have had to exercise on a regular basis, and have sustained a few injuries from exercising.  I have gone to therapy to help with my mental health issues.  Now, I am taking pride in my appearance and showing the world my love for beauty!

I am learning to enjoy life and doing my best to be positive each and every day.  THERE is beauty in each day!  I am blessed to be here to see it.  I will cherish each moment that I have been given and hope to spread as much love and kindness as possible!

So, I urge you…  Take care of yourselves.  Educate yourselves about heart disease.  Go for check ups regularly.  Fuel your body properly and get some exercise!  Life is beautiful and you want to be able to experience that beauty!